Abundant Life by Embry Burrus

Adults with Down Syndrome, Advocate, Aging, Auburn University, Family Challenges, Mother of an Adult with a Disability, Parents, People with Disabilities, Siblings Add comments
Margaret, Embry and Mama at the Beach

Margaret, Embry and Mama at the Beach

Jane has graciously asked me to share with her readers how my family is caring for my older sister, Margaret, who has Down syndrome. It’s one of the most common questions that people ask me when I go to speak to parent groups and seminars: “What will happen to your sister when your mother dies?”

To be honest, it’s a fair question. My mother is 91 years old, so folks wonder, how could she possibly still take care of an adult child with Down syndrome? And the answer is, it’s now a group effort.

Our father died in 1983, and since then, our mother has been Margaret’s confidante,  caretaker, and as always, her lifelong advocate. Even when my father was alive, Mama was the one who took care of things; especially where Margaret was concerned. She continued to drive into her late eighties, and took care of all the household duties and bills. She drove Margaret to all of her social events, to the grocery store, to church, and even on short trips. People are always amazed when they meet her, marveling at how active, funny and engaging she is at 91 – she is truly an amazing person!

But, things have changed around their house now. Mama knew she needed to stop driving, especially at night, and the household chores were starting to overwhelm her. I called one night at around 8:30, and they were just sitting down to supper. When I asked Mama why they were eating so late, her response was, “I don’t know, I just couldn’t get it together.” I knew it was time to get her some help.

My brother and I talked, and decided that we needed to find someone who could help out on a daily basis with cooking, cleaning and driving Mama and Margaret to their activities and appointments. We were blessed to have a friend recommend someone, and now we have two wonderful ladies who share the duties. Brenda comes every morning, drives Margaret to her activities with the recreation department, and then comes back to the house where she cleans, fixes lunch, does laundry and takes Mama to the grocery store, the bank, or wherever she needs to go. Since Brenda already had a job in the evenings (taking care of another elderly person), we needed to find someone else who could work a few hours every night. Brenda knew of someone in her church that was retired and looking for a part-time job, so she recommended Marion, and she comes in Monday through Friday from 5:00 – 8:00 p.m. She makes dinner, cleans the kitchen, and takes care of anything that needs doing before they go to bed.

Mama and Margaret are still able to manage things at night, and on the weekends, as I usually go over on Sundays to spend the day with them and take care of the bills. I know there will come a time when they will need full-time, seven day a week help, but for now, our set-up works just fine.

I realize that I still haven’t answered the question of what will happen to Margaret when my mother is gone, and the truth is, we don’t have “a plan” in place. My mother and I have discussed it, but it’s difficult for her to talk about. I don’t think my mother ever considered that Margaret might outlive her. She feels responsible for Margaret, and doesn’t want my brother or me to “have to worry with it.” I have tried to assure her that this is no burden for me, and that I am honored to take care of Margaret; I only hope I can do as good a job as my mother has.

Two years ago, we set up a Special Needs trust for Margaret, so that any assets she has will be protected and not cause her to lose her government benefits. We also established guardianship so that I will become her legal guardian once my mother is no longer living.

What I hope for is that Margaret is able to continue to live in her home (which will go into the trust once my mother has passed on), and we will have wonderful people like Brenda and Marion to help out. Since I will be Margaret’s legal guardian upon my mother’s death, those decisions will be left up to me. My plan is, first and foremost, to do what’s best for Margaret, and to make sure that she continues to lead a happy and fulfilled life.

A. Embry Burrus, MCD, CCC/SLP
Associate Clinical Professor
Department of Communication Disorders
Auburn University
E-mail: burruae@auburn
Author: Mama and Margaret

Have you wondered who would take care of your family member with a disability? Do you have a plan? We welcome your suggestions and questions.

83 Responses to “Abundant Life by Embry Burrus”

  1. johntheplantman Says:

    Thanks, I am always interested in what happens when the caretaker needs a caretaker.

  2. Jackie Says:

    I like reading about your family dynamics, evidently centered around Margaret’s care. I aspire to be a community/church advocate for persons with disabilities and welcome ideas, such as the “Special Needs Trust” you mentioned. I’ll try to find more information on this.
    …and, if you’re a friend of Jane’s you’re ok in my book!

  3. 引越し 安い Says:




  4. とうきのしずく Says:





  5. 青ひげ 解消 Says:


  6. 青髭 対策 Says:


  7. waterfalls dvd Says:

    As a result, the installation of waterfalls for decorating and aerating Koi ponds has increased.
    Waterfall faucets are designed to fit with vessel sinks; after your first family conference, it helps to speak with a home design architect or hardware retailer
    to plan your remodel and choose your bathroom sink at the same time you choose your faucet.
    All roads should now be leading to the Yosemite National Park in California’s Mariposa County.

  8. daniel wellington tilbud Says:

    Great post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed!
    Very helpful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such
    information much. I was seeking this particular information for a
    long time. Thank you and good luck.

  9. ベルブラン Says:


  10. site de réduction en ligne Says:

    If you desire to get much from this post then you have to apply these strategies to your won web site.

  11. next sale Says:

    Hi! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a
    outstanding job!

  12. Lazy Profit Explosion Says:

    DAY Vision is a full service marketing communications company specializing iin brand strategy, graphic design,
    promoting, online advertising, custom software improvement, social media administration and search engine marketing (website positioning).

  13. Mazie Says:

    Agar aap code Email par mangwana cahte hai to Email Id wala
    option select kare aur continue par click kare.

  14. generateur gratuit clash royale Says:

    It’s an remarkable piece of writing for all the internet visitors; they
    will get advantage from it I am sure.

  15. 化粧水 おすすめ 人気 ランキング Says:


  16. spirituality of fundraising Says:

    Very interesting subject, thank you for putting up.

  17. gta for android Says:

    GTA 5 can be downloaded as multiple worldwide Android formats: APK, APK or

  18. EPIPLA Says:

    One of the biggest advantages of using this source is
    that you can have your site hosted as soon as
    you choose your free web design template.

  19. camping backpack Says:

    I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s equally educative and interesting,
    and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which not enough folks
    are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy I came across this during my search for
    something regarding this.

  20. Most of the networks are also streaming aired episodes of this season’s cancelled tv shows online as well and some of them are even adding the episodes that made it through production Says:

    of course like your website however you need to check the spelling on several of your posts.
    A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very
    troublesome to inform the reality nevertheless I’ll surely
    come back again.

  21. descuentos on line Says:

    Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely excellent.
    I really like what you’ve acquired here,
    certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it.
    You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep
    it sensible. I cant wait to read much more from you. This
    is really a tremendous site.

  22. Narcos Cartel Wars cheats Says:

    Hi there, of course this post is genuinely nice and I
    have learned lot of things from it about blogging.

  23. Epipla Trikala Says:

    Very helpful.

  24. Houston Texans Jerseys Says:

    Having read this I believed it was really informative.

    I appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this article
    together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and leaving comments.
    But so what, it was still worth it!

  25. exhibition malaysia Says:

    Have you ever thought about writing an ebook or guest authoring on other blogs?
    I have a blog based upon on the same subjects you discuss and would
    really like to have you share some stories/information.
    I know my readers would enjoy your work. If you’re even remotely
    interested, feel free to shoot me an email.

  26. lunch recipe Says:

    Thanks for finally talking about >Grown Man Now Blog Archive Abundant Life
    by Embry Burrus <Liked it!

  27. feliz en vista capitaland Says:

    Magnificent site. Lots of helpful information here.

    I am sending it to several friends ans additionally sharing in delicious.
    And naturally, thank you in your effort!

  28. Mystic Messenger hack Says:

    I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get got an shakiness over that you wish be delivering the following.
    unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you
    shield this increase.

  29. financial planners Says:

    Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as
    I provide credit and sources back to your website? My blog site is in the exact same area of interest as yours and my visitors would
    definitely benefit from some of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this ok with you. Many thanks!

  30. dryer systems Says:

    Pretty! This was an incredibly wonderful post. Thank you for supplying this information.

  31. sergey Says:

    Your style is really unique in comparison to other people I have
    read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you have the opportunity,
    Guess I’ll just book mark this web site.

  32. Lenora Says:

    First offf I want to say fantastic blog! I had a quick question which I’d lioe tto ask iif you do
    not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior
    to writing. I’ve had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out there.
    I do enjoy writing but it just seems ike the first 10 to 15 minutes aree usually lost simply jjust trying to figure out how tto begin.Any ideas or hints?
    Appreciate it!

  33. tires to oil pyrolysis oils Says:

    I’m extremely impressed with your writing abilities as sartly
    as with the layout to your weblog. Is that this a paid subjewct matter orr
    did you modify it your self? Anyway keep up thhe nice high quuality writing, it is uncommon to peer a great blog like his one these days..

  34. Staten island website design Says:

    Hi, this weekend is good for me, for the reason that this time i am reading this fantastic informative post here at my house.

  35. Handmade jewelry Says:

    Currently it seems like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform out there right
    now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using
    on your blog?

  36. rubber tire recycling pyrolysis plant usa Says:

    You are my breathing in, I have few blogs and occsionally
    run ouut from post :).

  37. songs download Says:

    Great article.

  38. zobacz Says:

    My family every time say that I am killing my time here at net, except I know I am getting knowledge all the
    time by reading thes good articles or reviews.

  39. aluminum works venice Says:

    Good web site you’ve got here.. It’s difficult to find high-quality writing like yours these days.
    I truly appreciate people like you! Take care!!

  40. jurassic encounter Says:

    It’s wonderful that you are getting thoughts from this paragraph as well as from our discussion made here.

  41. Hillary Says:

    It is actually a great and useful piece of info.

    I’m satisfied that you simply shared this useful info with us.
    Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

  42. Gisele Says:

    What’s up, after reading this remarkable piece of
    writing i am as well happy to share my know-how here with friends.

  43. แต่งงาน Says:

    hello!,I like your writing very a lot! share we keep up
    a correspondence extra about your post on AOL?
    I need a specialist on this space to unravel
    my problem. May be that is you! Having a look forward to see you.

  44. construction training Says:

    An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker
    who was conducting a little homework on this. And
    he in fact ordered me lunch because I found it for
    him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this issue here on your web

  45. זיכיון למכירה Says:

    I do not know if it’s just me or if everybody else experiencing issues with your site.

    It appears as though some of the written text
    on your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them
    as well? This might be a issue with my browser because
    I’ve had this happen before. Thanks

  46. dhow cruise dubai Says:

    We absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for.

    can you offer guest writers to write content in your case?
    I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a
    number of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome site!

  47. interesting August 2017 calendar particulars Says:

    Wow, marvelous weblog structure! How lengthy have you ever been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The entire glance of your site
    is fantastic, as smartly as the content material!

  48. zabavne gadgety Says:

    Hey there I am so excited I found your blog page, I really found you
    by accident, while I was looking on Yahoo for something else, Anyhow I am here
    now and would just like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all
    round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the moment but I
    have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds,
    so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the fantastic job.

  49. thecranecampaign.com Says:

    Excellent weblog right here! Additionally your
    site lots up fast! What web host are you using?
    Can I am getting your affiliate hyperlink in your host?
    I desire my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  50. Miami wedding video Says:

    Excellent, what a weblog it is! This web site gives helpful information to us, keep it up.

  51. official site Says:

    After exploring a few of the articles on your site, I truly
    appreciate your way of writing a blog. I saved it to my bookmark site list and
    will be checking back soon. Take a look at my website as well and let me know what
    you think.

  52. judaica store silver spring Says:

    Very good article. I will be going through a few of these issues
    as well..

  53. expandable closet shelf Says:

    Wonderful goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff
    previous to and you’re just too wonderful. I actually like what you have acquired here,
    really like what you are stating and the way in which you
    say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it wise.

    I can’t wait to read far more from you. This
    is really a great site.

  54. digital life academy Says:

    hi!,I really like your writing so much! proportion we keep in touch
    more approximately your article on AOL? I require
    an expert on this area to solve my problem. May be that’s you!
    Having a look forward to look you.

  55. T Escape Says:

    Whats up are using WordPress for your site platform?
    I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get
    started and create my own. Do you need any coding knowledge
    to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  56. shilajit for energy Says:

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d
    certainly donate to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS
    feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will
    share this website with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

  57. MyADSino CashBack Says:

    I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any
    web browser compatibility problems? A couple of my blog audience have complained about my blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks
    great in Firefox. Do you have any recommendations to help
    fix this issue?

  58. Spirit Animal Vest Says:

    Very nice write-up. I definitely love this site. Continue the good work!

  59. Trump Says:

    That is very interesting, You’re an overly skilled blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and look ahead to in quest of more of your magnificent post.
    Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks

  60. trans in vicenza Says:

    Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Taking the time and actual effort to produce a good article… but what
    can I say… I put things off a whole lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

  61. Annuaire de référencement Says:

    After I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and
    from now on whenever a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment.
    There has to be a way you are able to remove me from that service?

  62. Agen Sbobet Terpercaya Says:

    Wonderful post! We will be linking to this great content on our website.
    Keep up the great writing.

  63. songs Says:

    Hey there, You have done a great job. I will definitely digg it and personally
    recommend to my friends. I am sure they’ll be benefited from this web site.

  64. learn to fly Says:

    It’s great that you are getting ideas from this piece of writing
    as well as from our argument made here.

  65. lifeline phillips Says:

    What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable familiarity on the
    topic of unpredicted emotions.

  66. Pförtner Says:

    Everything is very open with a very clear explanation of the challenges.

    It was really informative. Your site is very helpful. Thanks for sharing!

  67. Family United Says:

    Great blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m
    completely overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Kudos!

  68. lampu jalan pju Says:

    Thanks for finally talking about >Grown Man Now Blog Archive
    Abundant Life by Embry Burrus <Loved it!

  69. 3d scalp micropigmentation training Says:

    you’re in reality a good webmaster. The website loading speed is incredible.
    It sort of feels that you are doing any unique trick.

    In addition, The contents are masterwork. you’ve performed a
    wonderful process on this topic!

  70. life help Says:

    What’s up Dear, are you actually visiting this website on a regular
    basis, if so afterward you will definitely get nice knowledge.

  71. balconette bikini Says:

    This post is in fact a pleasant one it helps new net people, who
    are wishing in favor of blogging.

  72. Forex Promotions Says:

    Yes! Finally something about No Deposit.

  73. air ride fifth wheel hitch Says:

    Pretty! This has been a really wonderful article. Many
    thanks for providing these details.

  74. addictive Says:

    Why people still use to read news papers when in this technological globe everything is presented on net?

  75. kitchen Says:

    First of all I would like to say excellent blog! I had a quick question that
    I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested
    to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind before writing.
    I have had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there.

    I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally lost just trying to figure out how to
    begin. Any ideas or tips? Appreciate it!

  76. entertainment Says:

    You’re so interesting! I don’t believe I’ve read through anything like this
    before. So great to find someone with a few genuine thoughts on this topic.
    Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This site is something that
    is required on the web, someone with some originality!

  77. Paket wisata seo indonesia bisnis villa jual jodoh villa Says:

    Saya yakin ini ayat telah menyentuh semua internet orang, yang benar-benar benar-benar baik pos pada
    membangun baru situs.

  78. Lorevere Eye Lift Serum Skincare Says:

    I do trust all the ideas you’ve offered on your post. Theey are
    really convincing and will definitely work. Still,
    the posts are very quick for newbies. Could you please extend them
    a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.

  79. Fannie Says:

    Always can recall the design of your ring must be determined by
    taste within your lady. It happens to be step to get something
    not only looks magnificent but that shows the girl’s individuality.

    This just really demonstrates diamonds remain and
    can often be a lady’s each bride’s best friend. http://brennanfysl826blog.blogocial.com

  80. Adultfriendsfiner Says:

    I savour, lead to I discovered just what I was having a look
    for. You have ended my 4 day lengthy hunt!
    God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

  81. watch Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales Says:

    Hulu had 6.3 million guests in September, according to Nielsen, and has
    more than one hundred sponsors trying out creative forms of marketing, like
    interactive games.

  82. Charger 2 jbl Says:

    You actually make it appear so easy along with
    your presentation however I in finding this topic to
    be really something that I think I’d never understand.

    It sort of feels too complex and extremely huge
    for me. I am looking forward on your subsequent publish, I’ll
    attempt to get the cling of it!

  83. addult friend finder Says:

    Hi, constantly i used to check blog posts here in the early hours in the dawn, since i
    love to gain knowledge of more and more.

Leave a Reply


WP Theme & Icons by N.Design Studio
Entries RSS Comments RSS Log in