Jonathan is my best friend. When I started my job at Food City, I was so confused. Jonathan was my helper. He showed me how to pack bags. Put the cans on the bottom. Put the eggs on top. Put the pie by itself in a bag.

Jonathan showed me how to bring in the carts. He got in front. I got in back. We pushed the buggies together. We had fun doing that. He teased me and I teased him. We laughed a lot. In the winter we put on gloves and jackets. One time I fell down. He helped me up and I was all right. What I like best is parking the buggie cars. It’s like driving a car. Jonathan said take it slow and be careful. He told me to help Martha in the video shop. I help check out the DVDs.

He told me not to take too long at breaks. He said if the groceries go too fast I ask the cashier to help. He said don’t fool around when it’s busy. Be nice to the customers.

Now Jonathan is gone. He and his wife moved to Alabama. He left last Saturday. Me and my mom took Jonathan to lunch one day last week. Mom went home. Jonathan and I hung out at the mall. We went to FYE and I got him a DVD of The Lone Ranger. He liked that. Then he brought me home. We hung out at my partment. I cried when he left.

We had a party for Jonathan at Food City. Courtney brought freshments and everybody came. Ed said Jonathan will be back but Jonathan said nothing.

I miss Jonathan. He is like my big brother and my best friend. I hope he is happy in Alabama. I try to get over it but I do miss him. It’s breaking my heart.

Have you had to say goodbye to a good friend? How do you deal with the loss? How can we help Billy?

During my graduate work at Auburn University, I taught a demonstration class for children with intellectual disabilities. Billy and several other children rode with me from Columbus, Georgia during the summer to attend the class with local children. During our first summer, we met Steve Hinton, who was also a member of the class.

Steve, who has Down syndrome, became Billy’s best friend. His parents were professors at Auburn who, like me, were devoted to finding the best education possible for their child. One teacher who observed the class said that he had never seen a more beautiful friendship than the one between Billy and Steve.

After we moved to Auburn Steve and Billy were together each day at their regular school. They were so close that they talked on the phone after school every day and visited with each other frequently. We went with Steve’s parents to their home at the lake where the boys played in the water and Steve tried to teach Billy to swim. They put on concerts for each other, pretending to be their favorite singers. Billy had never had a real friend before.

When I completed my work at Auburn, we moved to North Carolina where I had accepted a teaching position at Western Carolina University. We regretted leaving Steve and promised to return and to expect visits from him. Although thrilled with our new home, we were somewhat concerned about Billy’s adjustment, especially being apart from Steve. When we opened our first phone bill, it was apparent that Billy and Steve had maintained their practice of talking with each other every day after school. As amazed as we were, we realized that we hadn’t explained the difference between local and long distance phone calls. We also acknowledged our surprise and delight that Billy had managed to make the calls.

Steve spent a week with us in North Carolina and whenever I visited my mother in Georgia, Billy spent time with Steve in Auburn. It was always as if no time had elapsed since their last encounter. They were still best friends. As Steve and his family moved farther away and we became involved in our new lives, our letters and visits became rare.

When Billy and I began doing presentations at various conferences, a welcome opportunity arose. We had been invited to The University of Alabama. Since Steve and his family had moved to Tuscaloosa, they planned to meet us at the conference. Billy was so excited and looked forward to a reunion with his best friend. The reunion, however, brought sorrow to Billy and to me. Steve’s mother had warned us that Steve has Alzheimer’s disease, which appears to occur more frequently and at an earlier age in people with Down syndrome than in the general population. Although we knew that Steve’s behavior would be unpredictable, we hoped that he and Billy would retain some degree of their relationship. Billy was devastated when Steve neither recognized nor spoke to us. He could not understand, as none of us can, how a deep relationship can disappear from someone’s mind. Billy sill recalls with sadness, “Steve not know me.”

Steve has improved somewhat, and we still speak by phone from time to time. Billy, however, is still sad about his friend’s inability to relate. Even as we recall their past positive experiences, it always ends with “Steve not know me.”

Like the teacher who observed Billy and Steve, I think of their relationship as the most beautiful friendship I ever saw. Have you had close friendships like this? Have you had experience with Alzheimer’s disease? What would you say to Billy?